Follow me on this crazy adventure to figure out what works, what's safe, and what's truly good for you

Friday, April 12, 2013

Feeling Like a Baby...

My son is 5 months old so we've been introducing him to solid foods. The process involves adding one food at a time and waiting a period of 4 days before adding a new food so that any adverse reaction can be linked to the food that caused it. Apparently it can take up to 4 days for an adverse reaction to appear. As I was reintroducing foods this past week I couldn't help but feel a little bit like a baby, eating and waiting to see how my body responded.

Well I didn't wait 4 days in between each food, and instead of introducing one food only, I introduced one food type (grains, dairy, etc.). I was definitely able to see responses to different foods. I ate the full gamut and in small amounts, no particular food type bothered me, but in larger amounts I had some adverse reactions. Starchy carbs like bread made me feel heavy, weighted down, drained. Dairy gave me an awful stomach ache. Sugar also gave me a stomach ache as well as a headache and a little bit of nausea. I didn't notice any problems with meat (I had chicken, fish and sausage this week).

What has surprised me the most is how quickly and easily I fell back into old habits. It's been one week since I ended my juice fast and the first few days went very well, but by day 4 I was starting to slip. Now 7 days later I'm doing worse than I have in a long time. I've realized that my biggest problem is definitely overeating. I take one more bit, one more serving, one more bowl, because I love the taste of the food. It doesn't matter if it's healthy or not - I'll overeat strawberries or steamed broccoli just as easily as I will chocolate chip cookies. I don't really have any answers on that yet but it's good to know the main problem so I know what I have to overcome.

In an effort to gain the upper hand on food, I'm going to do another juice fast. Even though it wasn't my original goal, last week quickly became about the pounds I was losing and the long forgotten sizes I was suddenly fitting into again. While I fully expect to lose at least a few more pounds this time, I'm not going to weigh myself at all this second time around. I'll weigh myself at the start but then not again until the end. My goal is really to try and gain control over food and my eating habits. For the next week or so I'll be preparing by transitioning to a plant-based diet. I am also going to start with fruitier juices and transition to juices with more veggies. I think last time I set myself up for failure by jumping straight to mostly veggie based drinks that I ended up not even really liking. Here's hoping for a more successful round 2!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Juice Fast Reflection

I can't believe I've already gone 4 whole days without eating anything. In that 4 days I've lost 8 pounds and 1-1/2 dress sizes. It won't live to see 5 days however. I'm not done juicing, but I'm ready to add eating back in. As I mentioned yesterday, Day 3 was really hard for me as far as my mental state. But over the course of yesterday and this morning I've come to a few conclusions that I feel really good about. Today I'm doing very well mentally; physically not so much.

Today I felt hungry for the first time - true hunger pangs with growling stomach and all. I've also felt noticeably tired, weak and irritable all day. Drinking my juice this morning didn't satiate me as it has the past few days and so I decided it was time to eat. While I would probably still lose a pound or two tonight as I have been, I realized any weight loss I experienced today would be an illusion. Weight lost by starving myself would come back as soon as I started to eat again. Also, working out is an important part of my health plan and I cannot do that without energy which today I have in short supply. So I ate lunch.

I'm not saying it's all over though. This week has really been a week full of introspection for me and I've gleaned some wisdom from it all. I am a very healthy person, which has always been a little bit disappointing for the hypochondriac in me. Anytime a doctor has had a reason to look at something a little closer, it's always come back normal. My blood pressure and heartbeat have always been perfect. With the exception of a very minor high bilirubin count, my blood and lab work has always been perfect. I am not at risk for heart disease or diabetes or cancer or anything else. I'm just a healthy person. Therefore I realized any goal I had in the back of my mind really boiled down to my weight and physical appearance. Don't get me wrong, I think trying to prevent future health problems is important but I realized to achieve this ideal body I was fantasizing about would cause me to cut out a lot more than I'd have to cut out just to be healthy. So I looked at my priorities.

I determined that being super skinny is not worth letting go of some of the foods that I love and my love of cooking. I also determined that the foods that I love and my love of cooking are not worth being overweight and not trying at all. I think we all might have that struggle to some extent in one area or another. We all want to have our cake and eat it too. But when we're faced with a scenario in which we can't have both, we have to make a decision based on what's best for us and then we have to own that decision. For me, I decided that being fit and healthy is important to me but striving for this possibly unreachable idealized body image was not. And now I have to own that decision. Sometimes I'll have to workout when I don't want to or grab an apple instead of a candy bar or only eat pasta a couple of times a month instead of a couple of times a week. That's what I have to do in order to be fit and healthy.

But I also have to own the other decision I made. I have to stop comparing myself to other people. I have to stop worrying about what other people think of me. If someone thinks I have a big butt, so be it. I've always said I have a JLo butt and I always will and I'm just fine with that. If I looked in the mirror and saw a Cameron Diaz butt looking back at me, I wouldn't know what to do. That's great for her but I like my curves and am happy to keep them. I need to be happy in my own skin and not worry about trying to make my body look like Jessica Biel's. By letting go of that in my mind, it frees me to enjoy a plate of spaghetti or an ice cream sundae without feeling guilty.

At the end of the day, it's all about that balance. I can't have whatever I want whenever I want it, but I don't always have to deprive myself of everything too. By being conscious of what I put in my mouth, I can find that balance. By learning to have just a little instead of stuffing my mouth, by adding one thing that I know is healthy for me (like a green juice), by limiting but allowing some of the foods I love, I can find that balance.

The last thing I've really thought about a lot this week is that there are other things I can do to feel better about myself that don't have anything to do with my weight. For instance, I can style my hair and wear makeup more often. Or I can do a better job keeping my house clean. I always feel good about myself when I know I've done well. Doing the dishes or pulling the weeds always make me feel better about myself because I feel like I'm being responsible. Sitting in a clean house, with my hair and makeup done and a flattering outfit would make me feel pretty good about myself regardless of if I looked good in a bikini or not.  Working to step up my efforts in these areas became a priority for me this week.

I still don't want fast food or highly processed foods, but it's lovely to know that I don't have to become a vegan either :)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Juice Fast, Day 4

Yesterday was hard. Not physically - physically I felt great and even completed a workout! From my research, I didn't expect to start feeling really good until around Day 4 or 5 at the earliest, but by Day 2 I was already feeling better. But mentally this is really tough. In the 6 weeks preceding my juice cleanse, I had worked pretty hard on diet and exercise. I was working out 4+ times a week and had eliminated foods that are really bad for you (fast food, most processed food) and really cut back on foods that are fairly bad for you (organic processed foods, non-organic products, dairy, red meat). I wasn't really missing any of the foods I had cut out or limited, but now that seems to be all I can think about! I had planned to start back into eating with whole foods and a plant-based diet. While I know in my head that is still what I will do, the rest of me is screaming for a cheeseburger, a bowl of spaghetti with garlic bread, or a chicken pot pie.

I've never felt the battle between the flesh and the spirit, as it pertains to food, as strongly I am right now. One side of me is convincing myself that as long as I don't go overboard and continue working out then I can eat some of those things. That part of me is clinging to things like 'focusing on every single ingredient and analyzing every single thing I put in my mouth is stressful and stress is counterproductive' or 'eating and food are meant to be enjoyed and not enjoying them is stressful and stress is counterproductive' or worst of all, 'who cares if I'm a little heavier than I want to be?'

Then the other side of me pipes in and reminds me that I've already lost a total of 15 pounds and 2 dress sizes in the past 6 weeks - 7 pounds and 1 dress size of that being from the last 3 days of this juice cleanse alone. It points out that I can see visible changes in my problem areas. It reminds me that I'm finally fitting into clothes that I've wanted to wear for far too long now (I'm currently wearing a shirt that my hubby bought me for Christmas in 2011 but hasn't fit until today). It reminds me that my health on the inside is just as or more important than my shape on the outside and that I don't want to ruin all of the good progress I've made.

This battle is fierce y'all. Way harder than not eating. Unless I'm seeing food on the TV or smelling what my hubby is cooking, I haven't even noticed that it's been almost 4 days since I've eaten anything. It's surprising how satisfied and fulfilled I feel on the juice alone. This fast has become almost entirely about retraining my thoughts. Right now I know I have to keep going with it until my mind and my body can get on the same page or find a compromise.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Visualization, Affirmation, and Hibernation

In the documentary Hungry for ChangeJon Gabriel and Dr. Christiane Northrup both talk about an aspect of weight loss that is new, or at least new to me. This is a really good film that I think everyone should watch so I won't rehash it all here, but I do want to share the two things that impacted me the most.

First, Dr. Northrup talks about affirmation. She advises her patients to stand in front of the mirror every morning and every evening and say 'I love you. I accept you. Unconditionally. Right now.' After 30 days, you'll have begun to change the way you think. Similar to how you begin to believe a lie if you say it enough, if you affirm yourself enough you'll begin to believe what you're telling yourself. This goes along with the visualization that Jon Gabriel talks about. He too says it's important to accept yourself the way you are now (through affirmation) and then to visualize the changes you'd like to make. He points out that our bodies are built to store fat in response to stress as a defense mechanism. Our bodies think that a crisis is coming when we are stressed and so it stores fat to help us when the crisis hits. Therefore, unless you deal with the underlying stress, no matter what you do you won't be able to experience fat loss. Through affirmation and visualization you can help deal with the stress.

I think there is a lot of merit to the mental side of weight loss. I think our mental health and our physical health are a lot more connected than it seems; for the most part we look at them as two separate things but I think God made them to work together and break together. So I decided to try affirmation and visualization. I'll be honest, I feel pretty silly standing in front of the mirror telling myself that I accept myself and love myself just the way I am and then visualizing the fat molecules breaking down and being used by my body in this time of fast. But even though I feel silly, I feel like it's effective. I've told myself a lie enough to make myself actually believe it before so I know the affirmation will change my subconscious thoughts. And I think visualizing the process of my body actually losing weight is really powerful. Picturing each and every cell in my body squeezing out every unused and unneeded bit of water, picturing each store fat deposit breaking down and being sent to my heart or my legs or wherever needs energy. Picturing it all is really positive and makes it so much more believable for me.

Second, Dr. Northrup says that our bodies are biologically built to store up food for later when food might not be as available, similar to how a bear stores up food in preparation for hibernation  But because we live in a country where there is an abundance of food at our fingertips, our bodies are storing up for later but later never comes. In Fat, Sick and Nearly DeadJoe Cross mentions at one point that he's a little hungry but reminds himself he already ate. As he shakes his belly, he says that it's time for later. I don't know about you, but I have enough stored and am ready for later. It's time for me to hibernate and let my body live off its fat deposits for a little while. Juicing allows me to get the nutrients I need while forcing my body to get its energy from where it was stored for later use - my fat cells!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Juice Fast, Day 2

 It's 8pm on Day 2 and so far today has been better than yesterday. I don't have much of a headache at all and my energy level has been about the same as yesterday. My aches are a little more noticeable - my muscles feel tired - but not bad. No nausea yet, but we'll see what happens closer to bedtime. I am a little bit more irritable today so that's not ideal...

I've had a harder time with the juice today. Man, this would be soooo much easier if I liked this juice! Last night, as I was doing more research, I was reading Drew Canole's Alpha Reset which is part of his Juice Up Your Life program. Usually I wouldn't go for a product/service like this because it seems like just another thing to spend your money on that you don't really need. While I kind of think that about this too, Drew Canole is a friend of my sister-in-law's so I decided to give it a try. (NOTE: The Alpha Reset is free.) The Alpha Reset is a 5-day program in which he prescribes only water and juice for days 1-3. The best part for me is that he says not to force yourself to drink the juice. Drink lots of water and when you feel like you need it, drink the juice. That was music to my ears today. I'm still working on my first juice of the day (it made 32 ounces) but I'm feeling ok. When I feel some hunger pains, I drink some more. I started chasing it with lots of water and that helps some. The thing with the juice is that when it hits your tongue it's the wonderful sweetness from the fruit; but as soon as you swallow it leaves an aftertaste of vegetable, especially celery. Since I don't like celery, that sucks. Chasing it with water has helped but removing the pressure of having 4-6 juices a day has helped a lot too. I hope that in the next few days, my taste buds will be reset and the juice will start to taste a lot better. I've read that after the reboot, the simplest fruit or vegetable seems so much more appetizing than it did before the fast so I'm banking on that!

I've battled a lot of mental hunger today. I've really been craving food, and not even bad food! I'm not hungry for Dorito's or Oreos - I just want a banana or some grilled chicken. My hubby was eating a bowl of brown rice and it looked like a feast! He made fajitas with chicken and red pepper, greek yogurt and wheat tortillas for dinner and it looked and smelled divine! I look forward to eating that on the other side! Thankfully I had determined to see this through before I ever started so I'm not tempted to quit, but I am really missing real food. I'm trying to use this time to figure out what kinds of things I'm going to eat when it's over but it's hard to look at delicious recipes that I know are healthy and not feel hungry!

I have a few things helping me get through it though. First, I lost 4 pounds on Day 1!! As of now on Day 2, I haven't lost any more, but if you know me you know I don't put too much stock in the number on the scale. At points in my life I've done away with the scale entirely. Right now I recognize that it's just a number and whether it's up or down, it's motivating for me at the moment. So after almost 48 hours without eating any food, I'm down 4 pounds! Second, I'm determined to show myself that it can be done and inspire other people to give it a try. I truly believe the effects of a juice fast can be so drastic that it convinces other people to get onboard. There are people in my life who want to lose weight, get healthy, get off long-term medicine, etc. and I want to show them all that it's possible. Third, I've been reading Candace Cameron Bure's book Reshaping It All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness. This book has been such great motivation for me, especially as I go through this fast. I highly recommend this book for anyone trying to implement a healthy lifestyle. And last, I have dates looming for which I want to look good. I want to be bathing suit ready by our beach trip in early May; I have a gorgeous dress I've never been able to wear (it was given to me) that I'd love to fit into for my anniversary at the end of May; I really want to get a tattoo for my birthday in June but I don't want to do it until the canvas for it is flatter. These are all approaching in less than 3 months so every day is important. I know if I stick with it, I can see a major change. I just have to get past the mental block!

Juice Fast, Day 1

This past weekend I went to the local farmers market and Whole Foods and loaded up on fresh, organic, and local (as much as possible) produce. And when I say loaded up, I mean loaded up! I came home with 22 apples, 16 pears, 4 heads of romaine lettuce, 25 carrots, 2 heads of cabbage, 3 extra large containers of spinach, 10 cucumbers, 5 bunches of kale, 2 bunches of chard, 10 lemons, 5 oranges, 2 nectarines, a lime, ginger, a fennel bulb, a thing of celery, a bunch of parsley, a pineapple, an orange pepper, 2 green peppers, beets and grapes. This was not cheap and was only meant to be for the first 5 days! I came home and separated it all into bags so that all I had to do was pull out a bag, wash it, cut it if needed and pop it in the juicer. By Sunday night, I was so excited to get started.

I woke up Monday morning and started on my first juice - a cold pressed juice I brought home from the farmers market. That one was pretty easy because it tasted fairly good. A few hours later, I made my first juice. The process was actually pretty simple and before long I was drinking my first homemade green drink! Yay, right? No. In all my research on it, the people seemed to love juice so I didn't even think about not liking it. Considering that I wouldn't eat 3/4 of the produce I brought home, I'm not sure why I thought I would love the juice that came from it, but I didn't. It wasn't awful - I wasn't forcing it down - but it wasn't tasty either. I got through that one and decided to try a different concoction thinking I just didn't have the right combination. The same thing happened with the second one though. I made it through 2-1/2 homemade juices, so 3-1/2 juices total by the end of the day. I had planned for 4-6 per day, 16oz. each. The good news is my 5-day-supply will last me a lot longer if I go at this rate. The bad news is I'm not getting all the nutrients I'm supposed to be getting.

As for how I felt... by mid afternoon I had a small headache which grew into a major headache by bedtime. I didn't have a ton of energy but I wasn't super sluggish either. I had no problem going about my day as usual, but wasn't really up for a workout. (Some of my research said that light workouts during a juice fast were ok as long as you didn't push yourself too hard; other research indicated that you shouldn't work out at all during the juice fast. I decided to wait until I got past the bad part before I added working out.) I also realized I wasn't physically hungry. My stomach didn't growl once all day. I didn't have any hunger pangs. But by bedtime I was feeling pretty nauseous. It had been a full 24 hours since I had eaten anything and since that had never happened before, I guess my body didn't like it. I finally fell asleep and thankfully I slept like a baby! I fell into a deep sleep and slept wonderfully all night long. I woke up this morning (Day 2) feeling refreshed and ready for the day. This is noticeable because usually I hit the snooze 5 times looking for just a little more sleep. My headache and the nausea were also gone when I woke up.

I did a lot of research before I started my juice fast, so I feel I came into it knowing what to expect. I knew the first few days to week were not going to be fun. It is literally detoxing your body so I expected side effects just as a drug addict would experience side effects after going into rehab. I was expecting the headache and the lack of energy; the nausea was unexpected but with a quick Google search I learned it wasn't atypical. I've also felt a little achy which was also expected.

At the end of the day, I'd call Day 1 a success.

And Then Came Juice...

I mentioned that I was about to start something really big in my last post. Well it all started yesterday and I'm excited to tell you about it. It all comes down to juice.

Over the past year or so I've really started to dislike most things having to due with specific 'nutrients'. Michael Pollan says it well in his book, In Defense of Food. I recommend that you read it and his other books, but to summarize part of it, he explains how we went from talking about food to talking about nutrients. Nutrients, he says, are invisible components of food that have no industry backing them and therefore are the easy scapegoat for what's wrong with our diet. The government can't say 'eat less red meat' because Big Beef won't allow it, but they can say 'eat less saturated fat'. That's a very subtle switch, but so incredibly powerful. What is saturated fat? What does it look like? Where can you find it? How can you avoid it? These questions aren't easily answered and that makes it really easy to turn certain components of food into the bad guy.

First, I think God created our foods so that all of the components work in harmony together, and removing one aspect of the food messes up all the other aspects. But setting that aside, the Nutrition Industry can't seem to make up their mind on which nutrients are good and which are bad. (Michael Pollan, among other people, also points out that it is financially profitable for the Nutrition Industry to change their mind a lot and breed confusion.) For a long time, fat was the enemy. Now we know that fat is an important part of a healthy diet and that the creation of low-fat foods have actually made us fatter and more unhealthy. When the calorie count of sugar became a concern, calorie-free artificial sweeteners became popular; these sweeteners cause a host of problems. Picking on one particular component has only made the problem worse. I started to make this connection when I compared the ingredients list on a tub of regular sour cream with a tub of lite sour cream. I recognized all of the ingredients in the regular version, but I can't say the same about the lite version. I began to realize that Big Food created chemicals in a lab that would make the food taste the same as it should but for less calories, less fat, less sugar, less this, less that. That's when I realized that eating the real thing was better than eating the fake thing which was made to taste like the real thing and the way to make it healthier was to simply eat less of the real thing.

So getting back to how I found juice. I stopped considering diets that focused on invisible components (low calorie, low fat, high fiber, etc.) and started looking at things that talk about food. But there are still so many different options! Paleo, vegan, dairy-free, vegetarian, low grain, high carb, etc. And looking into each of them, they all have their advocates which swear by it because of the weight they lost and how good they feel, even when the diets are in complete contradiction to one another. Someone on a no carb diet can claim the same thing as someone on a high carb diet. I'm starting to realize that it is highly subjective and what works for one person won't work for everyone. This makes sense because everyone's body is unique, so everyone's healthy eating plan should also be unique.

So I guess I'm building my own healthy eating plan based on what works best for my body. But where to begin? I realized that I do not know of a single plan out there that doesn't allow fruits or vegetables. Quite the opposite, more fruits and vegetables are strongly encouraged. So I decided to start there. Vegans and vegetarians have proven that you can get all the nutrients you need without consuming animal products (watch the Forks Over Knives documentary for some science behind that) and low-carb diets everywhere have proven that you don't need grain so I knew I'd be getting all the nutrition my body needed from just fruits and vegetables.

In the course of planning a switch to vegetables and fruits (veggies first because they're more important), I stumbled upon JuiceLand here in Austin which led me to the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead which led me to the world of juice fasting. I decided that a juice fast would be the best way to reboot my system, to use Joe Cross's term, and start over. Once I've gone through the detoxification process and have my body cleaned out, I'll be ready to see how dairy, grain and meat each effect me. I will also have reset my taste buds and hunger triggers, enabling me to implement healthier eating practices.

Yesterday was the first day of my fast. I'll write more about that and juicing in general later. For now, this is long enough!